Networking is an art as much as a business strategy.  It is also a skill that can be learned, and one that you require if you want to be successful in the current business arena.

There are many tricks to networking, however, you don’t have to be a magician to learn this valuable ability, you just have to pay attention to several details and be conscious about the way in which you approach people:

1.    Adapt your attitude
Networking is about helping others; it is a way of life, and as it comes, it goes.  It takes advantage of the laws of the universe, which will always rule it.

2.    Evaluate your network
Be sure to know whom you know.  Make a list of all the people you know, including your hairdresser, the cashier at the supermarket, your mechanic, your accountant, your dentist, and even your favorite waiter.  Important ‘titles’ mean nothing, you never know who will lead you to someone who can truly help you.

3.    Relate to people of all ages and backgrounds who are good professionals
You can learn valuable things from everyone you meet.  You can find mentors anywhere and everywhere.  Offer to help them from the heart, and ask for help confidently.

4.    Form a network before you need something
Attending business networking events, community organizations, or chambers of commerce only when you need them for something is not going to take you anywhere but down.  In networking, you don’t look out for yourself, instead, as you look out for others, the help you need will come your way.

5.    Stay visible
You have to be everywhere and get known.  Say yes to every invitation, even if you want to say no, other successful networkers will be there too.

6.    Become a matchmaker
Help your contacts meet the people who can help them meet their needs.  Only the most powerful people are selfless enough to help others succeed without a personal interest in the match.

7.    Keep in touch
Just call or write to say hi and to ask how things are going.  Invite people to lunch or coffee, just to have a good time learning more about them, no hidden motives involved

8.    Keep people informed
When someone refers you, gives you an idea, or a lead, keep them informed of your progress so that they know to what extent they were useful.  It is just simple, but deep, courtesy.

9.    Value small talk
If you think small talk is BS talk, excuse me, but you’re a snob.  The intelligent networker knows that small talk leads to big talk, because this is how we bond.

10.    Have manners
The best of the best are always respectful, courteous, and gracious, and they always acknowledge others for their help and support.

11.    Reciprocate
Give back your support, help, and advice.  In fact, if possible, be the first to give all these to others, and expect nothing in return.

12.    Follow up
For effective business networking, you have to stay in the loop as to how your contacts are doing after you helped them, in this way; you ensure they will be there for you when your time comes.

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Many renowned business writers and self-proclaimed gurus will tell you that the biggest sin in business is not returning a call in a timely manner or not answering an email within 24 hours of it hitting your inbox.

It is obviously clear how being responsive can benefit your business; however, there are certain calls and emails that are not worth your effort.

When you receive a phone message that sounds like an advertisement, because only the name and phone number are left without any meaningful message, you should not answer it.  Equally, if you receive a call from someone you have already worked with and clearly dislike, or from a friend who only contacts you to ask for favors, don’t waste your time.

Laura has a cousin who never picks up the phone herself, not even at home.  Her secretary screens all her phone calls and she never returns a message.  Eventually, her whole family stopped calling her because they got tired of not receiving an answer, and that was probably her intention in the first place.

The same goes for emails.  Do not answer an email if you don’t want further contact with that certain person.  Incredibly, some rude people think they can get away with emailing others they have insulted and still receive an answer.  No, they are not writing to apologize, they are writing because they need something from you.  Resist the urge to give them a lesson in writing or on the phone, it will only lower you to their level and will be a waste of time.  The worst you can do to them is ignore them, because they normally don’t even notice what they have done; they are that disconnected.

The best you can do is distance yourself completely from these kinds of people because, how can you know what they will do next?  Are you willing to risk your reputation by being close to such a dysfunctional person?  Do you care enough to help them see their error?  Probably not.

Normally, it is very clear when you have to reach a point where you no longer answer someone’s calls or emails, and you have to follow your intuition otherwise, you are not honoring your time, energy, and reputation.  When you meet people of different backgrounds and ages, some of their behavior just finds the way to work against them every single time.  That is a message you should indeed receive loud and clear.

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The regulars hide every time Martin arrives at a marketing event, leaving the new networkers to their own fate and Martin’s dreadful questions.  You see, just like Martin, many people believe that asking endless questions makes people feel comfortable and more willing to open up; when in reality ‘questioners’ invade your space and are just plain annoying.

Good questions can stimulate a conversation when they encourage intelligent observations and personal experiences; however, cross the line and you will kill any chance of starting a relationship with the other part.  ‘Questioners’ just take information, energy, and time.

The first time Martin attended a marketing event, Phillip approached him to greet him, and started a conversation.  As incredible as it may seem, within five minutes of knowing him, Martin fired a questionnaire at Phillip that left him dumbfounded.  He literally drained Phillip and annoyed him to the extent that he wished iPhones had a mute button that worked on people.

Needy people may welcome a ‘questioner’.  Their need for attention is so big that they can’t believe their luck when someone just can’t stop asking them questions about themselves, however, serious professionals don’t have the time and energy to waste on such insecure people.  Yes, ‘questioners’ are, in many cases, people who are so insecure about themselves and their capacity that they ask lots of questions to see where they can find a space to fit, or else they think of themselves as so bright and important that they think they deserve answers from everyone and in regards to anything.

There is the caring and flattering curiosity of someone who wants to know how you made it to where you are in order to learn from your experience, and there’s the other side, the person who wants to suck your experience out of you as if by asking questions they could seem wiser.

Good questions are asked out of a sincere interest for the person.  The best networkers ask questions that make us a part of the dialogue without intruding.  They will listen to our answer and make an intelligent and important remark.

The best way to get good in the art of asking questions is by listening to those who already master it.  Pay close attention to what they say, how they say it, and what they do, but most importantly, observe how others react to their words.

Your mission in business networking is to arm yourself with valuable stories, clever observations, important revelations, and intelligent questions that will allow you to mingle among the best of the best as a meaningful part of the group.

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There are countless successful business styles; however, an infallible one is based on the principle of giving in order to receive.  Connecting with others and giving from the heart most certainly will bring an abundance of business back to you.

Take Sally Jones, for example.  Sally was born a giver.  She is a jewelry designer and owned a small jewelry business.  Not very long ago, she moved from a small mid-west town to New York City, only carrying her work materials and equipment, and lots of dreams for her jewelry venture.  One year later, Sally’s jewelry pieces were featured in some of the best fashion stores on New York’s avenues and had a staff of ten people.  You may be wondering, how did a complete stranger, a shy and innocent girl from a small town made it so big so fast in a city like New York?

Well, as we said before, Sally is a natural giver, and as soon as she arrived to the big apple, she started being herself.  She went out of her way to help everyone however she could, from neighbors, to passersby on the street, to people in need.  On her limited means, she once fed a family of six for a whole month; she volunteered with local sheltering organizations, and every weekend she took a different group of orphans to the movies, the museum, or to the park.  In her free time, she designed her jewelry.

Don’t even go there… she didn’t do all these things with the thought of acquiring business; honestly, would you be able to do just a fraction of all that with the only motive of getting more clients?  Bets are on!  Sally didn’t have the experience to think of that, she did all those things just because she felt inclined to do them, but believe it or not, her business started to bloom almost immediately.

Sally is a people person, and as such, as soon as she arrived to New York she started making lots of good friends, and these friends became clients who talked to other people, and soon, she had made her jewelry popular among a significant group of people, and as the caring person she is, she thanked them in many ways.  After trying it once with huge success, she made it a habit to invite groups of friends and clients to small gatherings at her jewelry studio.  She would show them how she worked and what her vision was, and would greet them with great food and a special gift.  This was perfect for her business and her style, because it blended the two things she loved the most, her art and pleasing people.

Successful people have a single personality no matter the occasion.  Be it business or pleasure, Sally is always her old giving self.  But how exactly did Sally land the huge opportunity to feature her jewelry pieces all over New York City?  Well, one Sunday morning she was strolling along Central Park with a group of ten kids from an orphanage, when a woman who was walking her dog, fell down.

Even though Sally had her hands full with the kids, she ran to help her get up, helped her sit on a bench after making sure she was alright, and ran to call her driver who was waiting for her on the other side of the park.

The woman was already gone when Sally noticed she had lost a beautiful gold and blue gems bracelet when she fell.  Sally ran to find her and was able to return the bracelet before the woman left the park.  When the woman offered a reward, Sally kindly rejected it saying that she just didn’t want her to lose such a beautiful piece, and that’s when the woman noticed the necklace Sally was wearing.  It was a beautiful and delicate white gold and pink stone piece.  The woman, whose name was Amanda, asked her about it and Sally told her she had designed it.

To make a long story short, it turns out Amanda was a famous fashion executive in charge of selecting the clothes and accessories for a major chain of fashion stores, and within two months of Sally helping her, she got her a really good place at the stores’ jewelry section.

Anyone can be like Sally; we all have a giver within. Just be aware of this and experience how being good every time you meet people can bring you wild success and much more personal satisfaction.

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As a busy executive with a fulfilling personal life, you probably do not prioritize business networking as an important activity to meet new contacts.  There are just so many appointments involving so many people that it is difficult to think about meeting even more people, right?

Even if this seems logical, it is very wrong when you consider that, anyway, we meet lots of new people every day and this doesn’t alter our schedules, and also that if you do not expand regularly your circle of acquaintances, you could be jeopardizing your chances for business growth and success.

If you know 200 people, and your contacts know another 200 each, we’re talking about 40,000 potential leads right at your fingertips.  You surely don’t want to miss your share of info on a good job, more clients, an opportunity for a deal, a writing assignment, an investment break, or the best bargains, among many others.

Business networking is one of the most valuable activities you can engage into, and it is easy to become good at it; you just have to remember this rule, which is applicable to any kind of networking or any other kind of encounter: be open to learn more about each person you meet, be willing to help, and offer to stay in touch.

Networking helps you enhance your communication skills by encouraging friendly conversation.  Even if you don’t develop a relationship with someone, that person will remember you as a nice individual, and will say so if asked in the future.

If you are a very busy person, limit your networking events to those crucial for your business. Take advantage of every single casual contact you have during the day, and take more business cards than you give out so that you can control the timing for developing relationships.  While networking online, focus on your topics of interest and contact strategic people based on their profiles.  You can search for people who work in a specific field, live in a certain city, or happen to be experts on key topics, and they will probably acknowledge you because you both belong to the same communities.

As you can see, there is no such thing as no time to network.  There are many options to choose from without sacrificing your personal or business time while at the same time ensuring you are meeting people that will most certainly put you ahead in the business game.

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A year and a half ago, Justin Davidson moved from North Carolina to Boston to be closer to his family.  He never had second thoughts in regards to finding a job quickly; after all, he had more than fifteen years of renowned experience and high quality recommendations from outstanding professionals in the advertising field.

Nevertheless, he quickly found out that the job market was not buoyant.  He spent six months surfing the net and applying for different positions posted there, as well as delivering his resume to every advertising agency and company in the area, only to discover this was a waste of time.

Once he started analyzing what he was doing wrong, he discovered that he was failing on the bonding part.  Boston was his hometown; however, he had moved away a long time ago and had little local acquaintances, if none at all, so he was counting on finding a good job through Internet ads.  What he had not considered was that thousands or other people had had the same idea, diminishing significantly his odds of being selected.

Six months after he moved, Justin started to build a local social and business network.  He joined communities dedicated to his hobbies and his career and started making friends and contacts.  Later he started telling these people about his job search and leads began to cascade before the actual job postings were published. He got called for interviews, and he finally got a great job.

What Justin did was to network his way into a job.  Networking is not just about mingling among people and delivering business cards; it can give you a solid database of contacts from where you can get deals, referrals, business ideas, and even a job.

Your business network should have past and current colleagues, students from your school, all kinds of people in your field, and your friends.  From there, you can schedule lunches or coffee breaks to talk in person to these people; this is the best way to boost your chances with them.  Get in touch with people you haven’t talked to in a while, and don’t forget to meet new people too.  Ask your contacts for business referrals, and contact them directly.  Attend networking events to expand your contact list fast, stick with a few events and attend regularly; this will increase your chances greatly.

Once you have made valuable contacts, you have to stay in touch.  Don’t expect people to remember you after one encounter if a job opportunity appears; take the time to send them a ‘nice meeting you’ note and invite them to lunch or coffee after a couple of weeks.  Find things or likes that you both have in common and share your time doing a certain activity.

Networking works when you develop a relationship with the other person, and when you enjoy their company.  It takes dedication and time, but the more you give to it, the sooner you will see results.  Justin is a clear example of this, within four months he had landed a great job, doing what he likes and being paid really well for it, but learn from his experience… start business networking while you still have a safe job, in this way, you will not get caught off guard.

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We’ve all met people whom we thought were “so lucky”.  We humans tend to think luck is behind our lives’ misfortunes and successes; however, deep inside, we know that luck has nothing to do with what happens in our existence, don’t we?  What we so despairingly call luck is just the set of actions and beliefs of the “lucky” people, and how they apply them to business and their lives.

Individuals who are “lucky” in business and life, happen to share eight distinctive characteristics:

1.    They talk to everyone
Strangers are intimidating to most of us, however, many great experiences can result from talking to people we don’t know.  You never know… you might get ‘lucky’!

2.    They love small talk
Many people disregard small talk because they see it as unproductive. What they forget is that small talk can lead to the big talk when they least expect it.

3.    They ‘drop’ names
Although some may think that individuals that drop names are showoffs, one may find common ground and open doors when discovering you both know the same people.  There is indeed a way of dropping names with class.

4.    They listen and snoop
Lucky people are excellent listeners, observers, and eavesdroppers.  Being attentive can get you lots of information and is an inexpensive way of researching the market.

5.    They offer and ask for help
No one can do it alone; everyone needs help once in a while.  Lucky individuals let others know what they need and also offer to help out of good will.

6.    They wander off their path
The saying goes: “Not all who wander are lost”… how true!  When the opportunity arises, lucky people seize it, no matter where it leads; lawyers have become entrepreneurs, doctors have become writers, accountants have become singers, and teachers have become volunteers.

7.    They leave with grace
These individuals know when to leave, while they are still at their best and without creating enemies.  They know how the win/win scenario works, and recognize what’s best for all.

8.    They say yes, even if they want to say no
You never know where opportunities lie.  By saying no to something that may get in the way of your busy schedule, you may be also saying no to the chance of a lifetime.

That’s the luck in it all.  Lucky people are only lucky because they know what they want and they go for it with all their heart. They don’t let others or their circumstances get in the way. They believe in themselves and know someone out there will too, so they set out to meet people and to find that lucky person that is waiting to change their lives.

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There are many occasions in life when we have felt uncomfortable while talking to others.  In business, one has to learn to deal with all kinds of people, individuals with different values, interests, opinions, and business styles, because the way in which we handle these situations will reflect on us.

There is always a choice; you can look at tough moments as obstacles, or as opportunities to build your character.

Here is some advice on how to handle things when the talk gets tough:

-    Agree to disagree
It is inevitable: not everyone thinks as we do, not even our parents.  In fact, in all likelihood, most people we meet will have opinions and beliefs that are different from ours.  It can be really tough if you are talking face to face to a person and you suddenly find out that he loves turtle eggs when you are an avid protector of turtles and are fighting against their extinction.  It is the same in all sorts of conversations; one may oppose the other in their views about war, health care, football, religion, politics, or even TV shows.  Just remember that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and having a disagreement doesn’t mean there can’t be a business relationship between the two of you.  When it is clear that no one is going to change sides, just respect the other person’s point of view; agree to disagree, and move to a more neutral topic where you can find common ground.

-    Deal with the putdown and showoff experts
There are people who are professionals at putting you down or showing off in front of others.  They just love to criticize and make the toughest comments right there, when it hurts the most.  You really require a strategy to deal with these experts, because they mean to hurt you.  A lot of times we let people get away with it instead of getting back at them immediately, perhaps because they leave us with our minds ‘blank’ or because we don’t want to play their game; however there are intelligent ways to react to these parasites, just use them at your convenience:

•    One of the best and simplest ways is to look the person right in the eye and say “Ouch!”; it will be immediately clear that he has attacked you and that you got the message.

•    An effective way to shut up a showoff is to reply something like, “Wow, how fascinating!” and then move on in a civilized way.

•    Tell the putdown expert “Aww, so sorry you feel like that”, excuse yourself and leave.  You will be better off at a place where people’s efforts are into making others feel good; do not waste your time around people who believe in getting ahead by mistreating others.

•    Another way to deal with the situation is to be direct, when you are on the strongest side.  “That was truly out of line” or “Are you trying to hurt me?” are very clear approaches that will surely intimidate.

•    If you happen to be on the weakest side, you could just smile, look him in the eye and say, “Fortunately, I believe in myself enough so as to not have to respond to your observation”; you just told him he lacks confidence and that’s why he needs to attack you

•    When dealing with insults at an equal level, just be direct, “That didn’t sound nice, maybe I misunderstood”, turn away and leave.

Try to always have an answer in mind so that you don’t look like you have just been struck by lightning when the hit comes.  However, consider each situation before reacting, because it could backfire if you are not careful.

-    Move beyond silence
Should you answer the jerk or just not give him importance?  The thing is that when you do not respond, you are approving the offense.  In business you have to establish boundaries; business people have to know how to behave or else, they have to face the consequences.

-    Know the teaser
There is a point when teasing becomes bullying.  When this happens, wait until you have the opportunity to talk to the person and tell him how he makes you feel; be honest and serious.

Meeting people can be a pleasure or a drag, however, most often people surprise us positively, making it all worthwhile.

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When entering a room filled with people, you have about ten to twenty seconds to make a good impression.  When you meet people, you have five minutes to establish a positive relationship. Conclusions aren’t drawn solely from what a person says. 90% of opinions are formed based on non-verbal communication alone – your body language.  The impact of non-verbal cues can either help or hurt you in the following situations:

•    Job interviews
•    Giving business presentations
•    Supervising teams/employees
•    Leading meetings
•    Negotiating with key decision makers

Even the most confident person can send mixed messages with their body language.  These common body language tips will help you stay focused, and give a positive impression when meeting new people.

•    Eye contact – Eye contact is the most important non-verbal cue. If you look at your feet when talking to a person it shows you lack confidence and that you aren’t interested in what that person has to say. Don’t stare at a person for hours, but look directly into their eyes when shaking a person’s hand or answering a question. It’s important to maintain good eye contact, especially when meeting a new person.

•    Posture – Position your head and body squarely in line with the other person.  By facing towards a person, you show genuine interest in what they have to say.  Don’t stand too close or to far away when you talk to another person. Be respectful of personal space. Remember to stand and sit up straight when speaking – don’t slouch.

•    Don’t cross your arms or legs – This is the biggest mistake when it comes to negative body language. You come across as defensive or guarded when crossing your arms or legs. Keep your body open when communicating with others.

•    Nod your head once in awhile– When a person is speaking directly to you, nod once in awhile to send the message that you are listening. Don’t over do it and bob your head every few seconds.

•    Slow down your actions – Whether you are walking or talking, slow down your actions. It gives others the impression of ease and confidence (especially when addressing a crowd).

•    Don’t touch your face or wring your hands – These are nervous habits that many people do unconsciously. Practice in front of a mirror before giving a presentation to make sure you don’t engage in these nervous habits. These actions are distracting to an audience and make you appear nervous.

•    Don’t mirror other people’s body language – Sometimes when you connect with a person you unconsciously mirror their body language. If they lean forward when talking to you, you may lean forward as well. Don’t mirror the other person’s actions – it looks awkward and strained.

•    Keep a positive attitude and remain confident – If you maintain a positive attitude, your body language will reflect your confidence. If you look at the ground or look away at people, it gives others the impression that you don’t care or are afraid to talk to them.

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Not everyone is a natural public speaker. When you meet people, it’s easier to speak one-on-one with a person sometimes as opposed to addressing large crowds. It’s natural to feel nervous before giving a public speech or presentation. However, too much nervousness and improper speaking techniques can be detrimental to your presentation.

With enough practice, the following powerful public speaking tips will make you a natural public speaker in no time.

•    Know your material well – If you aren’t prepared for speech/presentation, it will show. Know your material/topic well before you present. Know more about the subject than you actually use in your speech. You want to come across as an expert on the topic. Use personal anecdotes, humor (if appropriate) and avoid jargon – this will allow you to speak easily about your topic.

•    Practice and more practice– Rehearse a few times in front of other people. Practice with the AV equipment you plan to use, especially if you give a PowerPoint presentation.  Remember to pause and breathe throughout your speech, and practice with a timer (especially if you have limited time to speak).

•    Know your room – Arrive early to the room so you can set up your projector, laptop, etc. Test microphones and visual aids to make sure everything runs properly before speaking.

•    Personally greet your audience – Greet audience members as they enter the room. This will ease your nervousness and puts you on a friendly, personal level with audience members/guests.

•    Use positive visualization techniques – Before giving your speech, visualize your speech running smoothly. Imagine yourself speaking in a clear, confident voice. Visualize your audience smiling and clapping loudly at the end of your speech.

•    Relax and concentrate on your message – Relax and take a few deep breaths before you speak. Don’t focus on your anxieties and nervousness. Focus on your intended message and audience members.  Remember that your audience/guests want you to succeed. Don’t ever apologize for your nervousness or glitches – the audience will never notice the problems.

•    Gain public speaking experience – Take a public speaking class or join a professional speakers’ organization. If you don’t feel confident giving presentations, there are experts who can steer you in the right direction.  The more speeches/presentations you give, the more confident you’ll feel speaking in front of large groups.

Avoid the following mistakes when giving a presentation/speech:

•    Don’t copy other speakers’ presentation styles
•    Don’t read your speech word-for-word
•    Don’t speak in a quiet, monotone voice – use voice inflection (and enunciate words)
•    Don’t stand in one place – work the room
•    Be well-prepared and don’t make up your presentation as you go (you will make yourself look foolish and unprofessional)
•    Don’t begin your speech by saying “Thank You” – start your presentation with a bang
•    Don’t use other people’s stories – Personalize your speech by using your own experiences (using other people’s quotes are acceptable)

Remember that public speaking is a learned art and won’t happen overnight. With time and practice your presentations will sound both polished and professional.

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