The regulars hide every time Martin arrives at a marketing event, leaving the new networkers to their own fate and Martin’s dreadful questions. You see, just like Martin, many people believe that asking endless questions makes people feel comfortable and more willing to open up; when in reality ‘questioners’ invade your space and are just plain annoying.
Good questions can stimulate a conversation when they encourage intelligent observations and personal experiences; however, cross the line and you will kill any chance of starting a relationship with the other part. ‘Questioners’ just take information, energy, and time.
The first time Martin attended a marketing event, Phillip approached him to greet him, and started a conversation. As incredible as it may seem, within five minutes of knowing him, Martin fired a questionnaire at Phillip that left him dumbfounded. He literally drained Phillip and annoyed him to the extent that he wished iPhones had a mute button that worked on people.
Needy people may welcome a ‘questioner’. Their need for attention is so big that they can’t believe their luck when someone just can’t stop asking them questions about themselves, however, serious professionals don’t have the time and energy to waste on such insecure people. Yes, ‘questioners’ are, in many cases, people who are so insecure about themselves and their capacity that they ask lots of questions to see where they can find a space to fit, or else they think of themselves as so bright and important that they think they deserve answers from everyone and in regards to anything.
There is the caring and flattering curiosity of someone who wants to know how you made it to where you are in order to learn from your experience, and there’s the other side, the person who wants to suck your experience out of you as if by asking questions they could seem wiser.
Good questions are asked out of a sincere interest for the person. The best networkers ask questions that make us a part of the dialogue without intruding. They will listen to our answer and make an intelligent and important remark.
The best way to get good in the art of asking questions is by listening to those who already master it. Pay close attention to what they say, how they say it, and what they do, but most importantly, observe how others react to their words.
Your mission in business networking is to arm yourself with valuable stories, clever observations, important revelations, and intelligent questions that will allow you to mingle among the best of the best as a meaningful part of the group.
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